


younger than the mountains, growin' like a breeze

by elyrey



Series: batkids shenanigans [3]
Category: Batman (Comics), Batman - All Media Types, DCU
Genre: Based on a Tumblr Post, Batfamily Shenanigans (DCU), Crack, Family, Gen, Long-Suffering Bruce Wayne, Memes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-29
Updated: 2020-07-29
Packaged: 2021-03-06 02:33:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 773
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25585975
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/elyrey/pseuds/elyrey
Summary: Shitposts: Bringing (most) siblings together and confusing parents, all at the same time!Or: Tim reads a shitpost. Jason, Cass, and Dick all join in. Damian is certain they've lost their minds. Bruce is Concerned. Alfred is just glad no one is fighting.
Relationships: Cassandra Cain & Tim Drake & Dick Grayson & Jason Todd & Bruce Wayne & Damian Wayne, Cassandra Cain & Tim Drake & Dick Grayson & Jason Todd & Damian Wayne
Series: batkids shenanigans [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1819132
Comments: 10
Kudos: 158





	younger than the mountains, growin' like a breeze

**Author's Note:**

> Did anyone request _more_ shenanigans? No? Well, you get more shenanigans anyway!! ~~One day, I swear I will finish and post my angst fics. _I swear!_~~
> 
> Thank you to Bumpkin and Veriatas, my betas for this fic!! And thank you to the Capes & Coffee Discord for brainstorming my dumb, shitpost-based crack idea!! You all are so wonderful and amazing, honestly.
> 
> Okay, so, first, the title is from John Denver's "Take Me Home, Country Roads"! A bit more serious than the fic itself, but hopefully you'll understand soon.
> 
> Second, the shitpost this is based on: [here it is!](https://elyreywrites.tumblr.com/post/624952545425735680) Preferably, check out the post before the fic so that if you _haven't_ read it before, you don't end up confused!
> 
> Enjoy!

Tim would much rather be sprawled across the blanket nest in his room, scrolling through dumb shitposts, but Dick had implemented Required Sibling Bonding Time during the quarantine. Which – okay, _fair_. Tim, Damian, Bruce, and Jason were all spending most of their time sequestered away – _introverting_ , as Tim liked to say – which meant the only two Dick could consistently spend time with were Cass and Alfred.

Dick hadn’t accepted “being an introvert” as an excuse, which started one hellishly long debate about what everyone was. Bruce, Tim, and Damian were all introverts, much to both Damian and Tim’s displeasure. Everyone had _thought_ Dick was an extrovert, but he had admitted that he was an omnivert that leaned more towards being an extrovert _usually_. Jason usually argued that he wasn’t an introvert, he was an _omnivert_ , but being stuck in quarantine with the rest of them meant he was definitely introverting more just to get a break from the rest of them. Alfred and Cass were also omniverts, as was Duke but he wasn’t staying at the manor during the quarantine. Stephanie was the only actual extrovert, but she wasn’t there either.

The result of it was Required _Scheduled_ Sibling Bonding Time. Some days it was watching some movie or show, or playing games, or creating general chaos – a specialty of theirs. Other days – like that day – they just all gathered in one room and quietly did their own things in each other’s company. Tim was scrolling through social media, laying upside-down on a beanbag chair. Jason was reading while he stretched out and took up the entire couch, and Damian was sketching in the window seat. Cass was curled up in an armchair and listening to music, while Dick was playing some game on his phone – sitting on top of Jason’s legs for some reason, but they were both too stubborn to move or say anything.

A particularly amusing post caught Tim’s eye and he snickered, earning the attention of all his siblings. Damian barely spares him a glance, but Cass tugs an earbud out while Dick and Jason both look at him curiously. Trusting at least _some_ of his siblings to see the same kind of weird, dumb posts that he did, Tim kept his eyes glued to his screen as he sang, “ _Country gnooomes_ …”

“ _Take my booones_ ,” Jason continued, huffing a laugh.

Cass smiled, quietly adding, “ _To a plaaace_ …”

“ _They don’t belooong,_ ” yowled Dick.

Damian glanced between them horrified bafflement. “Where in the ever-loving hells do you find such trash?”

Together, Tim, Dick, and Jason warbled, “ _WEST VIRGINAAA!_ ”

“Kids,” Bruce said slowly, looking in from the hallway, “what’s going on?”

“Shitpost,” Tim offered as explanation.

Dick grinned. “Youth.”

“Funny,” Cass added.

“Fuck the norm!” declared Jason.

Damian stared back at his father in horror. “They have clearly lost their collective grasp on what little sanity they still possessed.”

Bruce blinked and hesitantly nodded. “Okay… I’ll just… leave you to that, then.” The door shut on Dick’s iconic cackle, almost drowning out Jason’s chuckling and Tim’s quiet snickers. Above it all was Cass’s softer giggling.

* * *

Bruce stared at the closed door in sheer befuddlement. Walking towards him with a tray of snacks, Alfred smiled, amused.

“The humor of younger generations may often pass by older generations,” he advised, sagely.

Shaking his head, Bruce sighed, “Of course, I came to terms with _that_ ages ago. I just don’t know if I should be concerned when my children start singing for gnomes to steal their bones away to West Virginia.”

“I should not think so, Master Bruce. In any case, they are spending time together and getting along peacefully _without_ have criminals to beat up as a buffer. For that, I will accept every such nonsense.”

Bruce had to concede that point – it usually took a minor miracle for all five of his children to interact together without a fight breaking out, mostly among Tim, Jason, and Damian. Well, a minor miracle or all of them roasting Bruce together. He could deal with the confusion and concern if it meant a peaceful day in quarantine. “At least Damian hasn’t adopted their sense of humor,” he commented.

Alfred offered a wry smile, “Not _yet_ , perhaps.”

“Oh god. I dread that day. Go give the kids their snacks. I’m going to find a book and ignore the possibility of all of them referencing weird internet humor.” He heard Alfred chuckle as he continued on towards the library. Yes, he dreaded the day when the others roped Damian into sharing their bizarre humor. Patrolling with everyone bantering in references that went over his head would be _miserable_.

**Author's Note:**

> Comments and kudos are much appreciated!! Thank you for reading!!


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